When your jokes are morbid,
smiles are wry,
you're affected by none,
and your tears go dry,
feelin so worthless,
but still can't cry,
take a deep breath,
that shall pacify.
ITZ MY LIFE
Friday, August 8, 2014
Monday, August 4, 2014
South Indian uncle :"ye car waste k liye kaha se raasta aayega"
Me(almost expression less) : ........
Some other guy : "yaha se right le k khar subway aayega, waha se"
(he was asking about 'Khar West')
Monday, July 14, 2014
You have not paid your dues,
You are surely not a Lannister,
You are customer of some use,
Pay your debts u sinister,
This is our thousandth call,
Hope you are doing not so well,
Keep dodging us, increase the interest,
Then surely you can goto hell,
You are wise, pay minimum,
Then goto sleep, we wont come,
Pile ur debt month by month,
And then pay double of the sum,
You've shopped, take some rest,
While we screw your CIBIL,
Next time when you are out of cash, who will pay your bill?
We lend you when you are down,
So we can do doggy style,
Dont write cheque you cant cash,
If you want to keep your smile.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
While I was working as Sr. auditor at a audit firm in Dubai, I was also assigned to clients for miscellaneous works and advices -
Boss - "explain these investment policies to our client and help him in selecting a plan, will you"
Me(ye karne aaya hu kya re) - "sure"
(went to the client)
Me - "what kind of investment plan do you wish sir"
Client - "I want high return, and no risk, means it should be safe risk"
Me -" sir safe risk to oxymoron hota hai"
Client - "so you suggest that I should put my money into oxymoron, which according to you is the safest risk"
Thursday, June 12, 2014
Tuesday, May 13, 2014
Me(at a photography workshop) - "Good morning sir."
Neville - "Call me Neville, coz U knw I am not knighted.. As of now."
Me - "Ok sir"
Neville - "arre baba... No sir"
Me - "Sorry sir"
Neville - "Shoot me, will you?"
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Friday, April 18, 2014
Ashwan - "aaj kal MHADA bhi same aaise flat deta hai, 1BHK,11k rent, malad me... Pehle wo lene wale the"
Shishir - "wo le lete hai, saving bhi hogi"
Ashwin - "matlab dekh... Washroom.... Bathroom and bahar WC bhi laga hua alag se"
Shishir - "Bahar??? Kis k bahar"
Ashwin - "washroom k bahar"
(i gave a weird look.... Realized and started laughing)
Ashwin - "kyaaaaa.. sacchi me 11k rent"
Shishir - "what is WC"
Ashwin - "washing chamber"
Shishir - "western commode"
Ashwin - "kab se use kar raha hu... Kisi ne nahi toka"