My Life....Our Group....Our Talks....My Memories...My Fucked Up Write ups...Screwed Poems

Thursday, April 9, 2015

Think Logical...

This happened when I was giving C.S. Inter exams, this one is a real incident, like really real. The words may be bit different(they are, I make many spelling mistakes usually), all thanks to my awesome(meh) memory sills, if they were really great, this incident would have never happened:

C.S. Intermediate paper of Tax Laws

QuestionRajeev works in an MNC, he has 2 options - take a RFA (Rent Free Accommodation) provided by company, or take HRA (House Rent Allowance) of Rs. 5000 per month. Evaluate.

Answer : Rajeev seems to be a middle class man, who must have worked hard all his childhood. Now he should not get into nitty gitty of tax, specially when he will save 500-600 if he takes the better option. Its utter nonsense to save 500-600 of tax, and choose an option that will make him pay more mentally/physically/financially eventually. We must look into this matter with pure logical ground which is -

If he takes 5000 rs as HRA, 

1. He can live where ever he wants.
2. He will have to pay high rent, as RFA are always cheaper, if they weren't, nobody would opt and the system will fail.

About the scenario when he takes the RFA, he can - 

1. Share his car with fellow employees to office, and save on petrol. 
2. Be happy as all his company people will live together like family. With his kids having company of like minded friends. 
3. Get a healthy working environment, as people who live and work together share a special bond. 
4. Save the time spent on needless tax calculation of RFA and HRA.

I say, take the RFA.

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Khamosh and Lost Parindey

My elder brother Manish and me share an especial bond, which inter alia comprehend interest in poetic replies to poems/kafiya etc. Here is an excerpt from a recent gab -

Manish Bhaiya : "Wo Jo bolte the bahut,  unper bhi khaamosh ka saya hai...
Arsh ke parindo ko bhi humne zameen talaashte paya hai."

Me : "Battry khatam ho gayi mobile ki, sorry aapki zarurat k waqt call nahi lag paya hai.... Zameen pe talaash rahe the aapko, kambakht GPS ne direction bhi galat bataya hai."

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Desi Guide To Drinking

सिमरन औफ - Smirnoff

लेज़र - Lager

ड्राट - Draught

छोटी वाली बियर - Pint

कोरी बरफ - On the rocks

पैक - Peg

पटियाला पैक - 90 ML

चखना - Munching

पव्वा  - Quarter

अध्धा - Half

खम्बा -  A full bottle, usually.

अंग्रेजी - Imported & IMFL are addressed as अंग्रेजी, even Tequila, Bourbon and Scotch.

जमाजम - An Indian mocktail made from masala, lemon and thumps up.

गंगा जमना - A mix of two juices.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Tethered and Tangled

We were all travelling to Mumbai from Jaipur, brother who wanted to check that his GF has whatsapped him or not, asked me -

Sagar - "is ur tethering on? Bhai whats the password?"

Me - "its -  eff you see key oooo eff eff"

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Vocational Hazard

(My Dad is an Advocate)

"Papa... Edward Maya jodhpur aa raha hai"

"kon hai wo "

" DJ"

"District Judge?? "

" papaaaaaaaaaa"

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

MTS Sucks

This is a real conversation between me and MTS Customer Care.

MTS(nearly rude tone) - "MTS se bol raha hu, complain thi aapki"

Me - "speed nahi aa ri, disconnect ho jata hai, and high speed data khatam nahi hua"

MTS - "haan problem to rahegi... Jis area me use kar re ho waha nahi chalega dhang se"

Me - "torrents bhi nahi chalta kabhi"

MTS - "Nahi chalega wo to... Aur bolo"

Me - "mere plan 550 ka hai bill 1200 ka aaya hai"

MTS - "uska to kuch nahi kar sakte aab... Pay kar do"

Me - "mujhe call karne k liye dhanyawaad aapka din mangalmay ho"

Thursday, November 20, 2014

I don't choose the book, book chooses me

I was traveling to Jodhpur from Ahmedabad, I forgot to carry a book. Saw a book store at station and went inside.
After standing there fir like 10mins,the shopkeeper started giving me looks.

Shopkeeper - "chahiye kya hai tum ko"

Me - "book"

Shopkeeper - "han to lo na"

Me - "I dont choose the book, the book chooses me"

Shopkeeper - "nahi hai ye book nahi hai... Koi aur le lo... Ye half girlfriend le lo..."

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Le Le... Mera... Ok...Goto Hell

This is like everytime we walk into a restaurant or cafe. This one pertains to CCD.

Me : "kya lega."

Friend : "Kuch bhi."

Me : "fir bhi."

Friend : "jo tu lega 2 manga le."

Me : " two tropical ice bergs"

Friend : "na na na.... Ice ice hoti hai usme... No no no"

Me : "nirvana?"

Friend : "har baar kya nirvana yaar"

Me : "mere liye tropical ice berg, is k liye jo ye bole... Kuch nahi bole to pani le aana"

Life, Excuses, Thoughts, Conversations, Poems, Diary, Note to self

Active since April 26th, 2009.....ive put sum old memories too and now i don't use names where i feel the person can get offended, as i've not made this blog to defame someone, its about the best n the worst i have experienced, and best place for my doodling and stupid write ups, poems bla bla.