ITZ MY LIFE

My Life....Our Group....Our Talks....My Memories...My Fucked Up Write ups...Screwed Poems

Saturday, March 14, 2015

Desi Guide To Drinking

सिमरन औफ - Smirnoff

लेज़र - Lager

ड्राट - Draught

छोटी वाली बियर - Pint

कोरी बरफ - On the rocks

पैक - Peg

पटियाला पैक - 90 ML

चखना - Munching

पव्वा  - Quarter

अध्धा - Half

खम्बा -  A full bottle, usually.

अंग्रेजी - Imported & IMFL are addressed as अंग्रेजी, even Tequila, Bourbon and Scotch.

जमाजम - An Indian mocktail made from masala, lemon and thumps up.

गंगा जमना - A mix of two juices.

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Tethered and Tangled

A brother - "is ur tethering on? Bhai whats the password?"

Me - "its -  eff you see key oooo eff eff"

Wednesday, February 4, 2015

Vocational Hazard

"Papa... Edward Maya jodhpur aa raha hai"

"kon hai wo "

" DJ"

"District Judge?? "

" papaaaaaaaaaa"

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

MTS Sucks

This is a real conversation between me and MTS Customer Care.

MTS(nearly rude tone) - "MTS se bol raha hu, complain thi aapki"

Me - "speed nahi aa ri, disconnect ho jata hai, and high speed data khatam nahi hua"

MTS - "haan problem to rahegi... Jis area me use kar re ho waha nahi chalega dhang se"

Me - "torrents bhi nahi chalta kabhi"

MTS - "Nahi chalega wo to... Aur bolo"

Me - "mere plan 550 ka hai bill 1200 ka aaya hai"

MTS - "uska to kuch nahi kar sakte aab... Pay kar do"

Me - "mujhe call karne k liye dhanyawaad aapka din mangalmay ho"

Thursday, November 20, 2014

I don't choose the book, book chooses me

I was traveling to Jodhpur from Ahmedabad, I forgot to carry a book. Saw a book store at station and went inside.
After standing there fir like 10mins,the shopkeeper started giving me looks.

Shopkeeper - "chahiye kya hai tum ko"

Me - "book"

Shopkeeper - "han to lo na"

Me - "I dont choose the book, the book chooses me"

Shopkeeper - "nahi hai ye book nahi hai... Koi aur le lo... Ye half girlfriend le lo..."

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Le Le... Mera... Ok...Goto Hell

This is like everytime we walk into a restaurant or cafe. This one pertains to CCD.

Me : "kya lega."

Friend : "Kuch bhi."

Me : "fir bhi."

Friend : "jo tu lega 2 manga le."

Me : " two tropical ice bergs"

Friend : "na na na.... Ice ice hoti hai usme... No no no"

Me : "nirvana?"

Friend : "har baar kya nirvana yaar"

Me : "mere liye tropical ice berg, is k liye jo ye bole... Kuch nahi bole to pani le aana"

Saturday, October 18, 2014

Iqbal, Galib and Sahib

Whatsapp conversation in our Mumbai Friends Group-

Savio Mendoza

Iqbal says. . .
Udne de in parindo ko azaad fiza me Ghalib...
Jo tere apne honge wo laut aaenge kisi roz...

Ghalibs reply to Iqbal. . .
Na rakh Umeed-e-wafa kisi parinde se iqbal
Jab par nikal aate hai apne bhi aashiyana bhool jate hai...

Me -
Sahib's reply to Galib and Iqbal. . .
Per to penguin k bhi nikalte hai, 
kehne ko wo bhi parindey hote hai, 
wafa ki ummede tum kyu parindo se lagate ho, 
koyal se mohabbat kar k kingfisher pe aa jaate ho

Friday, October 17, 2014

Rumi my Roomie on The Roofie

We friends were discussing life while imbibing assorted intoxicants at our favorite roof top. I was skeptic on post nuptial happiness in general.

Friend 1 - "Life partner accha ho to life acchi hoti hai, dil laga rehta hai."

Me - "Home is where heart is."

Friend 2 - "Rumi never said that."

Me - "My roomies were awesome."

Friend 1 - "Awesome roomies se dekh kitta farq pada... Soch awesome wife ho to."

(After few mins)

Friend 2 - "Dude i actually meant Rumi... Wo Persian philosopher."

Life, Excuses, Thoughts, Conversations, Poems, Diary, Note to self

Active since April 26th, 2009.....ive put sum old memories too and now i don't use names where i feel the person can get offended, as i've not made this blog to defame someone, its about the best n the worst i have experienced, and best place for my doodling and stupid write ups, poems bla bla.